Hi, I’m Andrew, a Black Sheep here at Black Sheep Thinking. Welcome to the He(a)rd.

I was 2 years old when my parents divorced, my father had been having an affair on my mother. I didn’t learn the truth about the circumstances of their separating until I was 14. My father was a fun-loving partier, and I spent a lot of time wondering if he even loved me. I was born on his 25th birthday and it confused me deeply that he would forget to come see me on my birthday. In the meantime, my mother was broken hearted and desperately searching for someone to love her. She met a man who had a love for alcohol and violence. I spent a lot of time wondering when she would come to her senses and walk away from the destructive life she’d created for us. The circumstances of my childhood gave me ammo to blame others for the hurt I felt inside. When I was 10, after finally leaving her abuser, my mother met the man I now call my step father, they married and had my little sister. At 12 we moved out of the hustle and bustle of the big city, to a small rural town more than 2 hours away. I felt like this gave me an opportunity to start over. I could be whoever I wanted to be. That’s when I decided to “create’ a new Andrew. I lied through my teeth in fear that if people found out who I really was, they wouldn’t like me. The lies and deceit led me down a dark path as a young teenager and I eventually turned to drugs and alcohol to mask how I was really feeling. I spent a lot of my teen years on the streets, not because I didn’t have a home to go to, but because I was running away from myself.

I was a month away from turning 19 when my oldest daughter was born.  I was absolutely terrified and had no idea how to be a father. I spent a lot of her formative years trying to figure out how to provide a stable household, and build a family. I married her mother at 20 and we decided to have another baby. At this point in my life, I was still very attached to the pain of my past and had no understanding for my need to use drugs and alcohol in extreme excess. I made a choice to confront my addictions by exposing it to my family and friends, I knew that the only way to overcome my demons was to bring them out of hiding. I overcame a severe addiction to oxycontin with out the assistance of methadone. This decision spurred a journey to self discovery and understanding the truth of who I am.

After overcoming my addictions and gaining an understanding for where that behaviour came from, I reached out to my first life coach. She guided me through the decision to start my own business as a contractor. I had worked in the construction field since high school and had earned my red seal carpenter ticket. In my first year of business, I had just purchased and renovated my third home, when my marriage hit a wall and we decided to separate. We had 4 children at this point and I was completely devastated. I had tied my self worth to my identity as a husband and father. The understanding that we are all so much more than the roles we identify with has created long lasting happiness in my life, and has shifted me into living a more purpose driven existence.